Leadnaija
Elozonam Ogbolu, a former Big Brother Naija housemate has questioned outdated gender norms, stressing that there is nothing unmanly about performing oral sex on a woman or embracing roles traditionally considered “feminine” in Nigerian society.
The reality star during a recent episode of In The Company Of Men podcast hosted by Ikhane Akhigbe, encouraged men to be more emotionally available and supportive in their relationships.
“When it comes to certain things, especially things that men are not accustomed to doing, I think it screams toxic masculinity,” he said.
“Some guys think that giving a woman head isn’t masculine. It’s that weird. Serving a woman, doing things for a woman, going to buy the groceries — to a lot of very staunch toxic males in Nigeria, these things don’t constitute as you being a man.”
The BBNaija: former housemate also addressed how some men feel uncomfortable doing basic things for their partners, like purchasing sanitary pads.
“For instance, if your wife asks you to please buy her a sanitary pad, those men will question it. They will say it makes them feel uncomfortable. Why can’t you buy your mum or your woman a sanitary pad? Why can’t you go down on your woman? Why can’t you cook for her? Why can’t you do things that ordinarily, in the typical African or gender sense, a woman is supposed to do? You feel like it makes you feel less of a man if you do all of these things, but it doesn’t,” he said.
Elozonam also pointed out that some women contribute to the cycle of toxic masculinity by desiring aggressive or controlling partners.
“Toxic masculinity is still fueled by the opposite gender. You can be a toxic male who has grown up with a toxic father, who has learned all these traits, and you go out into the world with your toxicity and your hazardous materials and all that junk. And you meet women who, that is their fantasy, they can’t be with you if you are not toxic. They cannot stand you if you are not toxic because they are used to it. It’s what they use to measure how much you love or care about them,” he said.
He added, “It turns them on. Or, you are a guy that meets toxic girls and automatically, you are wet. Some girls even say they can’t be with a man that doesn’t beat them. I have seen things on social media like, ‘The man doesn’t love you if he doesn’t beat you.’ How? Like, why?”
