Pastor Banky W shares how a man sponsored his wife’s education to the U.S., funded her lifestyle and that of their children for 15 years, only for her to later divorce him
In a recent episode of the Mentality Podcast, Nigerian musician and entrepreneur Banky W spoke candidly about the importance of being present in marriage. Drawing from a story he encountered, Banky W highlighted the risks of neglecting spousal relationships over time.
“There’s a guy I know whose wife wanted to go off to nursing school in the States, so the kids went with her, and he was earning in Naira while paying her fees abroad. Literally, he spent… maybe ten to fifteen years working tooth and nail and sending money overseas. By the end of that period, the wife asked for a divorce.
She said, ‘We don’t even really have a marriage anymore because we grew apart.’” Banky W used the story to emphasize that marriage requires intentional effort, not just financial support or attention to children: “I think with couples, you have to decide what your rules of engagement are ahead of time. For instance, my wife and I decided before our marriage even started that if we’re in the same city, we’re sleeping in the same place even if it’s a hotel. There’ll never be a scenario where we’re in the same city and I’m here and you’re there.”
He further advised couples to establish clear communication early in their marriage to prevent misunderstandings: “Put it in mind early. In that first year, you’re working out the kinks you’ll now fight, she’ll now say she’s packing her bag and going to her sister’s house, or you to your sister’s. Just go and say hello, then come back home.”
Banky W concluded by underscoring the need for pre-agreed “rules of engagement” between spouses to safeguard the relationship: “In scenarios like this, you have to discuss what those rules are just so you’re protecting against those gaps.”
𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘀𝗔𝗽𝗽 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗹 𝗧𝗼 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗡𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗔𝘀 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗗𝗿𝗼𝗽!
